Some of you may have already completed your holiday shopping, but most of us are business as usual. If you're like me, the following thoughts will come to your mind over the next few weeks: “Oh, I should probably give that person a gift.”
Perhaps it will be for a friend, neighbor, or business associate. If you don't give them a gift, it might be awkward. It is better to err generously. What you get them now is obviously up to you, but here's what you should do. No Give to anyone this holiday season.
Don't give them food. You're giving someone a GiftNot arriving at a potluck. I understand that cookies, candy, and fruit may seem like a thoughtful, delicious idea, but no one wants something that will spoil.
Wine would be a great gift in place of food. Alcohol never goes bad, and based on the world we live in today, everyone needs it. It's not even noon yet, and just thinking about some of the conversations we'll have this December makes me want to drink.
Another thing no one wants is clothes. Unless you're a personal shopper, you are not eligible To buy clothes for someone else. I don't care if there is a gift receipt. It's just like giving a job to someone.
A great gift instead of clothes would be…wine! Now you may think, “But Jim, what if they don't want alcohol?” He is alright. Then they will gift it again. No gift receipt necessary!
Here's another don't: Don't give gift cards. They are unimaginative and lazy. The gift card is just going to get lost. When the gift card is finally received in five years, it will have expired and will provide only stress and guilt. Instead, a great gift would be…wine! Alcohol can be used to numb the pain from all those misplaced gift cards.
You can think, “But Jim, alcohol is never the answer.” Well, sometimes alcohol comes too close!
Finally, don't give socks to anyone this holiday season. Yes, socks are practical but extremely impersonal. You can think, “But Jim, the socks will keep them warm during the winter.” If you really want to keep someone warm this winter, a great gift would be…
You thought I was going to say wine, right?
well I am! Because wine can warm your heart during winter and we all know it will be filled with a lot of awkwardness.
You can also think, “But Jim, alcohol is poison!” Yes, it is, and like most parents of teenagers I will need some of that poison.
If you're thinking of giving me a gift this holiday season and wondering what I want… honestly, I would appreciate any gift. Any Gift.
As long as it's wine.
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The story is produced by Lucy Kirk. Editor: Chad Cardin.
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